Posted by Michelle on Sep 30, 2008 in Humor, Michelle
I love Leslie Hall and her Gem Sweaters. If you don’t know the story, she collects and models horrible bedazzled sweaters. She also has a website that will crack you up – plus it highlights her band Leslie and the Lys that sings about sweaters and other important midwest diva issues.
Her CD made me snort with laughter. I didn’t know she had a video online for the band’s song about Gem Sweaters:
First, we have signed a contract to move our webkinz blog to a network where we’ll be paid for our work. We are fairly excited about this and I’m thrilled to be able to let someone else handle the technical/server issues, as well as stop losing money on our blog, lol! Jeff says I have the golden online touch but mostly I just do what seems fun to me – and this time it was a great chance to do it with Hayley!
We are even paying Hayley to help on the blog now. It was too cute, we made her
interview for the job like a real job interview – Jeff wanted to get her teacher to write a recommendation. (I told her teacher and she laughed at it too and said she would have). Of course, she’ll make less than her allowance per post and will have to post over 70 words to actually make anymore so cross your fingers to see that actually happen!
Hayley is just thrilled that someone is going to pay her for “working”. It is a great early lesson in how this new economy works and how you can create something of value.
Second, on Wednesday before the UNC – NC State game we were listening to 850 the Buzz, the local sports talk radio station, on the way to soccer practice. Well some State fan insulted Tyler Hansbrough and Hayley got so angry. She demanded my cell phone and their number. I told her I didn’t now the number, hoping that would end it. Well next time the station ran the numbers, she wrote them down and demanded the phone yet again. I said I’ll give it to you if you know what you are going to say – and she was very clear about it.
So I called the station and talked to them. They said they’d consider putting her on the air but wanted to talk to her first. After a few minutes, they told her to hold on because they would put her on the radio right after the break. I had to remind her to be polite and not to curse (she is allowed to say ‘go to hell duke and state’ at home), as well as I didn’t want her to say ‘sucks’ but stinks was ok. I had this fear of her just going off!
She was a bit flustered at first but she got rolling like a pro and talked about how great Tyler is, how UNC is going to beat State and that they would win by 20. They LOVED her. They asked who do you watch sports and listen to the station with, your mom or your dad – she says, ‘my mom’. I loved that! They said it was the first time a nine year old girl called in to talk on the air.
I know the host of the program in passing and dropped him an email the day after. He said it was a great call and they enjoyed her doing it. Some posters on IC heard it too and loved it.
I’m just so proud of her – she has no fear of being out front of the pack.
Posted by Michelle on Dec 6, 2007 in Humor, Michelle
This has nothing to do with any of us except for my deep and abiding love all things 70s. YouTube has a two part classic video of ABBA, Andy Gibb and Olivia Newton John all performing together. Andy Gibb and ONJ! I love me some Andy Gibb (and all brothers Gibb). And yes, I’m a big ole dork.
Hayley is a ballgirl for a bunch of the UNC women’s basketball home schedule this year – at their request! She’s done two games so far already and coming home from one earlier this week, we drove by the kookiest thing on the street in Chapel Hill outside of our favorite restaurant … it was the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.
See more photos from this set: Regular view (easiest to find one in particular or print) Slideshow view (easiest to see them all)
Posted by Michelle on Sep 6, 2007 in Hayley, Humor
Short clip of Hayley swimming this summer in a freestyle relay. She is the youngest of the 9-10s, swimming against bigger 10 year olds in a main event (not a heat). She usually starts sorta slow because she just got diving down but watch her closing speed!
Stevie Nicks played by Lucy Lawless (*you know, Zena)
Stevie Nicks: Hello, I’m Stevie Nicks. Do you like the music of my band, Fleetwood Mac? And do you like fajitas, flautas, casa dias, and other Tex-Mex specialties? Then come on down to my new restaurant in Sedona, Arizona – Stevie Nicks’ Fajita Roundup. In the seventies, I dedicated myself to witchcraft, Lindsay Buckingham, and cocaine. But now I use that same energy and dedication to bring you an affordable dining experience you’ll never forget.
[ sings to the tune of “Rhiannon” ]
“Chicken fajitas taste real fine,
wouldn’t you love to eat them?
My chips and salsa are mighty fine,
no one round here can beat ’em.”
In my restaurant, I’ll be singing some of the classic songs that made me famous, while serving up some of the finest Tex-Mex food in the Southwest – like the house specialty, “Burrito Dream”.
[ sings to the tune of “Dreams” ]
“Now, there you go again, you say you want burritos.
I’m sure that you can keep ’em down.
It’s only a flour tortilla, used to wrap around your meat now.
Have you any beans you’d like to share with the loneliness?”
When Mick Fleetwood and I started performing back in 1974, we had a vision that one day our music would be heard around the world.. while people are eating Mexican food in a restaurant.
[ sings to the tune of “The Chain” ]
“Rack of beef to start on,
take your silver spoon full of beans and rice..”
So, the next time you’re craving a little Stevie Nicks’ music, or a vegetable burrito, don’t forget there’s a special place for people just like you.
[ sings to the tune of “Landslide ]
“You placed an order, I wrote it down.
Three enchiladas, the best in town.
Then I saw my reflection in a big pile of nachos.
The landslide brought in down.”
Announcer: Stevie Nicks’ Fajita Roundup. Off Interstate 17, just two hours north of Phoenix. Every Tuesday, burrito specials just $2.99.
Another Will Ferrell classic… a hysterical parody of a Behind the Music for Blue Oyster Cult with Christopher Walken.
One of the things that cracks me up the most in this sketch is how close Ferrell gets to Chris Parnell to annoy him after Walken tells him to “really explore the studio space”. Not even to mention the way Ferrell’s shirt keeps riding up and poor Jimmy Fallon trying not to lose it.
Walken’s oddball nature fits this skit perfectly and Ferrell’s ability to completely lose himself in looking silly make this a classic.
And the cowbell as the focal point of the sketch? Genius.
“You’ll all be wearing gold plated diapers…”
Air Date: 4/8/00 Host: Christopher Walken
Cast
Jimmy Fallon as Bobby
Will Ferrell as Gene Frenkle
Chris Kattan as Alan
Chris Parnell as Eric Bloom
Horatio Sanz as Buck Dharma
Christopher Walken as Bruce Dickinson
Announcer: After a series of staggering defeats, Blue Oyster Cult assembled in the recording studio in late 1976 for a session with famed producer Bruce Dickinson. And, luckily for us, the cameras were rolling.
Bruce Dickinson: Alright, guys, I think we’re ready to lay this first track down. By the way, my name is Bruce Dickinson. Yes, the Bruce Dickinson. And I gotta tell you: fellas.. you have got what appears to be a dynamite sound!
Eric Bloom: Coming from you, Bruce, that means a lot.
Buck Dharma: Yeah. I mean, you’re Bruce Dickinson!
Alan: It’s incredible!
Bobby: I can’t believe Bruce Dickinson digs our sound!
Bruce Dickinson: Easy, guys.. I put my pants on just like the rest of you – one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records. [ the group laughs ] Alright, here we go. “Don’t Fear the Reaper” – take one. [ exits into the control booth ]
[ the group begins to play and Gene bangs on a cowbell. ]
Eric: [ distracted by Gene banging the cowbell ] Okay! Wait! Wait! [ the group cuts off their instruments ] Bruce, could you come in here for a minute, please?
Bruce Dickinson: [ stepping out of the booth ] That was gonna be a great track. Guys, what’s the deal?
Eric: Are you sure that was sounding okay?
Bruce Dickinson: I’ll be honest.. fellas, it was sounding great. But.. I could’ve used a little more cowbell. So.. let’s take it again.. and, Gene.
Gene Frenkle: Yeah?
Bruce Dickinson: Really explore the studio space this time. I mean, really.. explore the space. I like what I’m hearing.
[ the group starts the song again, as Gene bangs more wildly onto the cowbell ]
Eric: Okay, wait! Stop! I’m sorry. Bruce, could you come back in here, please?
Bruce Dickinson: [ stepping out of the booth ] Fellas.. now, we just wasted two good tracks! That last one was even better than the first!
Eric: Well, it’s just that I find Gene’s cowbell playing distracting! If I’m the only one, I’ll shut up.
Buck Dharma: It was pretty rough..
Gene Frenkle: You know, I could pull back a little. If you’d like.
Bruce Dickinson: Not too much, though! Fellas, I’m telling you – you’re gonna want that cowbell on the track!
Gene Frenkle: You know what? It’s fine. Let’s just do this thing.
[ the band starts the song once more, with Gene banging the cowbell right next to Eric’s ear ]
Eric: [ stopping the song again, fighting Gene ] Come on, people!
Bruce Dickinson: [ running out of the booth again ] That.. that doesn’t work for me. I gotta have more cowbell!
Alan: Don’t blow this for us, Gene!
Bobby: Quit being so selfish, Gene!
Gene Frenkle: Can I just say one thing? I’m standing here, staring at Bruce Dickinson! And if Bruce Dickinson wants more cowbell, we should probably give him more cowbell! And, Bobby, you are right – I am being selfish. But the last time I checked, we don’t have a lot of songs that feature the cowbell.
Bruce Dickinson: I gotta have more cowbell, baby!
Gene Frenkle: I’ll be doing myself a disservice, and everybody in this band, if I don’t perform the hell out of this.
Bruce Dickinson: Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more cowbell!
Gene Frenkle: Thanks, Bruce. But I think, maybe if I just leave.. and, maybe I’ll come back later, and we can lay down the cowbell. [ starts to leave the studio ]
Bruce Dickinson: Aw, baby..
Eric: Gene, wait! Why don’t you lay down that cowbell right now. With us. Together.
[ everyone agrees ]
Gene Frenkle: Do you mean that, Eric?
Buck Dharma: He speaks for all of us.
Gene Frenkle: Thank you.
Bruce Dickinson: Babies.. before we’re done here.. y’all are gonna be wearing gold-plated diapers.
Alan: What does that mean?
Bruce Dickinson: Never question, Bruce Dickinson! Roll it! [ exits back to booth ]
Eric: [ ready to lay the complete track down ] 1, 2, 3, 4.
[ the band starts up again. Close-up on Gene as he bangs the cowbell to freeze-frame with graphic: “In Memorium: Gene Frenkle: 1950-2000” ]
I’ve watched Saturday Night live since before I could understand all the jokes. With the emergence of peer to peer file swapping services, I’ve been looking for a lot of my favorite SNL skits.
By far, my favorite commercial is called Bathroom Monkey and it aired twice in 1994-95 season (see show lists below). I’ve spent forever looking for the video and torturing my husband with the details of the skit.
I am a was huge fan of Janeane Garafalo, her wry sense of humor and general contempt amused me to no end. Her one year of SNL wasn’t exactly a spectacular fit but it did result in Bathroom Monkey. As she has gone off the deep end politically, I understand more about why she was such a bad fit at SNL and is so bitter now. Oh well.
The original airing on the John Travolta/Seal episode has a hysterical ending as they do the final scene from Grease – “We Go Together” song and car, with Seal in a blonde wig as Olivia Newton John.
[ Starts with woman giving product testimony from her couch ]
Woman: I had the bathroom from hell. [ laughs ] It was like every time I cleaned it, ten minutes later it was dirty again! Then I heard about Bathroom Monkey. They said the Bathroom Monkey system would keep my entire bathroom clean for up to eight whole months. They were right.
[ real-life monkey air freshener demonstrates ]
The little monkey air freshener releases a clean and fresh scent, and it emits a piercing, ultra-high frequency shriek, scientifically designed to keep my Bathroom Monkey hard at work, 24 hours a day. Now my bathroom’s monkey clean and monkey fresh. And my bathroom monkey? He’s more than a bathroom cleanser. He’s a part of the family. [ Bathroom Monkey changes shower temperature level as Woman takes a shower ]
I don’t know where monkeys come from.. I don’t know how they reproduce.. I don’t know how they eat. But I do know one thing: they were born to clean bathrooms. And when it’s cleaning power is all used up.. [ she discards used Bathroom Monkey ] ..simply pick up another in any of three decorative colors: Red.. [ monkey in red diaper ] ..Blue.. [ monkey in blue diaper ] ..or Orangutan. [ SUPER: “Orangutan will not wear diaper” ] This little guy just started today, and, you know, I think my new Bathroom Monkey and I are gonna make a great team.
SHOWS AIRED ON SNL 1994-95 Season
10/15/94 John Travolta, Seal
cold “Stayin’ Alive” follows host as he wanders lost through the studio
mono host claims he wants to forget his old roles but relives them anyway
COMM (JAG) talks glowingly about her Bathroom Monkey lavatory cleaner
show Coffee Talk- Linda welcomes a Barbra Streisand impersonator (host)
skit Count Dracula (host) tries to convince (KEN) & (JAG) that he’s not gay
song musical guest performs “Prayer For The Dying”
news to CHF, the baseball strike is tragic because he can’t run on the field
news Two Guys From A Religious Cult (DAS) & (ADS) give the weather report
show Squiggy (David L. Lander) & Mr. Pink (Steve Buscemi) vs. brutal Sweathogs
skit women’s self-defense class participants kick unprepared (CSE)’s genitals
show Larry King (KEN) Live- Marlon Brando (host) exploits indulgent interview
song musical guest performs “Crazy”
skit a small office causes co-workers (CHF) & (TIM) to yell at everybody
skit a drug dealer’s (host) hearing difficulties lead to miscommunications
misc cast sings “We Go Together” as host drives off in Greased Lightnin’ (Seal in a wig as ONJ)
4/8/95 Damon Wayons, Dionne Farris
cold Judge Ito (MAM) reciprocates Alfonse D’Amato’s racial stereotype
mono DAW does stand-up about African Americans’ undesirable job assignments
COMM Bathroom Monkey {rerun}
skit African American day campers’ names come from dictionary & supermarket
show Men On Film- Blaine Edwards (DAW), Roger Ebert (CHF), (David Alan Grier)
news Jeff Foxworthy (DAS) tells you how to know if you’re the Ebola virus
news ADS tries to get recently-released Mike Tyson to beat up people for him
skit (KEN) & (MOS) get drenched by excess saliva of jazz trumpeter (DAW)
skit homeless Anton Jackson (DAW) testifies at the O.J. trial
show Perspectives- the logistics of a black militant’s (DAW) upcoming march
skit animal-free entertainment from Cirque du Soleil’s (MAM), (CSE), (MOB)
MISC Deep Thoughts- JKH how to keep mosquitoes away
comm Christopher Walken (JAM) endorses Skittles
comm Tony Bennett (JAM) offers Tom Jones’ (ADS) used underwear for sale
I’ve watched Saturday Night live since before I could understand all the jokes. With the emergence of peer to peer file swapping services, I’ve been looking for a lot of my favorite SNL skits.
My favorite 2nd commercial is called Oops I crapped my pants and it aired three times in 98-99 season (see show lists below). It originated the line I still crack up hearing, “Well I’m wearing them, and I just did”.
Chris Parnell and Ana Gasteyer have small part with two older actors and a young child actor.
For me, humor in this fake commercial is the visuals, the older actors saying the hysterical lines and the horribly named product. SCRIPT
[Open – porch of nice home, looking out on yard.]
[Two grandparents sit with grandchild, as parents approach in tennis uniforms]
Ana: Hey, Mom what do you say to a game of tennis?
Grandchild: Come on grandma, with you on our side, the boys don’t stand a chance!
Grandma: Ok, I’ll get my racket
[grandma rises from site but changes her mind, looking concerned]
Grandma: On second thought, I think I better sit this one out.
[grandma upset, looks up at grandpa]
Grandpa: You kids go ahead, I wanna have a talk with your old grandma.
[kids, parent leave; grandpa sits down]
Grandpa: You’re still having control problems, aren’t you?
Grandma: I just don’t feel confident Harvey.
Grandpa: Come with me. I wanna let you in on a little secret.
[grandpa takes grandma’s hand and they leave porch]
[grandpa opens cabinet and takes out adult diapers]
Grandpa: Here we are oops I crapped my pants.
Grandma: Oops I crapped my pants, I’ve heard of those. Do they work?
Grandpa: Oops I crapped my pants out performed every bladder and bowel control product on the market today. Here, I’ll show you.
[grandma holds open diaper, grandpa holds pitcher]
Grandpa: Imagine this pitcher of tea is really a gallon of your feces.
[grandpa pours pitcher of tea with lemons into diaper]
Grandpa: See how its super thick protection allows for maximum absorbency without leaking.
Grandma: I’m impressed. Oops I crapped my pants can hold a lot of dung.
Grandpa: And get this, Oops I crapped my pants are biodegradable. Now that’s good for the environment.
Grandma: Hey, how do you know so much about Oops I crapped my pants?
Grandpa: Well I’m wearing them, and I just did.
[grandpa and grandma smile at each other]
[tennis courts, grandpa and grandma playing tennis with children]
Grandchild: Nice point Grandma!
[Grandma turns to and addresses camera]
Grandma: Thanks Oops I crapped my pants!
Voice over: Visit your local pharmacy and just say Oops I crapped my pants.
[Grandpa hugs grandma, kisses her on the head. They walk away happy]
[They turn to walk away and their tennis shorts are bulging…]
SHOWS AIRED ON SNL 1998-99 Season
September 26, 1998, Host: Cameron Diaz/ Smashing Pumpkins
opening show of the year
OPEN Oprah 2002
MONO: Cameron Diaz
COMM MasterCard
SHOW The View
COMM Oops! I Crapped My Pants
SHOW The Ladies’ Man
COMM The Best of The First 20 Minutes
GAME The New Hollywood Squares
TOON Fun With Real Audio: Presidential Address Outtakes
WKUP
MUSC “Perfect”, Smashing Pumpkins
SKIT The Roxbury Guys & The Festrunks
SKIT Smelly Witches’ Brew
COMM Gap
SHOW Jingleheimer Junction
COMM Gap
MISC A Message From The Spice Girls
TOON Maakies
COMM Gap
December 5, 1998, Vince Vaughn/Lauryn Hill
OPEN Clinton Impeachment Hearings
MONO: Vince Vaughn
COMM Oops! I Crapped My Pants
SHOW Dog Show
SKIT Mr. Peepers in Las Vegas
SKIT The Joys of Marriage
COMM Brew Dude
SKIT John Lennon’s Inspiration
SKIT Exxon-Mobil Merger
WKUP
MUSC “Doo Wop (That Thing)”, Lauryn Hill
SKIT Psycho
SHOW Pimp Chat
MUSC “Ex-Factor”, Lauryn Hill
SKIT Delco Cat Toys
May 8, 1999, Host: Cuba Gooding, Jr/Ricky Martin
OPEN Clinton Dreams of His Future
MONO: Cuba Gooding Jr.
COMM Lotto
SKIT Improvised Bible Miniseries
SKIT Barbara Walters Looks for Monica
SHOW Pretty Living
COMM Lotto
SHOW The Ladies’ Man
TOON AmbiguoBoys
SKIT Barbara Walters Looks for Monica
MUSC “Livin’ La Vida Loca”, Ricky Martin
WKUP
SKIT Cuba Loves Mango
COMM New Scratchers from Lotto
COMM Martha Stewart Living
SKIT Cuba Creates a Scandal with Walters