Ghetto porch email from Rob
Posted by Michelle on Jun 10, 2003 in Michelle
Funny email from Robert:
- I built a porch for the back of my tent yesterday. I am very pleased
with it, and myself for building it. Around here, about the only thing
you can do for fun is sit outside and look at the dirt. Behind my tent,
we have an impressive mound of dirt. I am very proud of it and think
that it is by and far the best dirt to stare at in the entire camp.
The problem we have is that we get eaten alive be sand fleas. This would
not be so bad, except the doctors around here said some of the sand
fleas carry something called ‘leach moniasis’, which comes in two forms.
The first causes a skin lesion, the second causes liver failure. To
combat this problem, I decided till the ground behind the tent, put
gravel down, and build a deck and overhang.
I decided to do this at 11am yesterday, when it was about 115 degrees.
Like many of my crazy ideas, once this got into my head, I had to do it, regardless
of the consequences. So I told one of my NCOs to come meet me behind our
tent and I got some tools. One thing I quickly realized is I am not 18 any
more. Swinging a pick-axe in 115 degree weather is actually harder than
it looks. But being a bonehead, I simply continued on. After leveling
the ground, me and my NCO carted 12 buckets of gravel from a site about
1/4 of a mile away. This helps keep dust and sand fleas down. I then
got four pallets and two old pieces of wood and made a deck. We then
put up some camo netting to shade the area. This took about a total of
4 hours in the blazing heat. I was exhausted by the time we were
finished.
Soon after completion, one of my other NCOs proclaimed that my porch was
a ‘ghetto porch’ and she didn’t see why I was so proud. Fighting back
the urge to cry, I informed her that my porch was not ‘ghetto’ but very
nice. She was not impressed. At this point, I stumbled back to the
office to get some water. By the time I got back (10 minutes later),
this lazy sergeant in our tent was already out on the porch with his
chair. To his credit, he thanked me for making the porch, which his fat
ass was now sitting on. I just gave up, got my chair out, put it on
the porch, and lit up a cigar. Ain’t Iraq great?
