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SNL – Stevie Nicks Fajita Round-Up

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Posted by Michelle on Apr 20, 2007 in Humor

Stevie Nicks played by Lucy Lawless (*you know, Zena)

Stevie Nicks: Hello, I’m Stevie Nicks. Do you like the music of my band, Fleetwood Mac? And do you like fajitas, flautas, casa dias, and other Tex-Mex specialties? Then come on down to my new restaurant in Sedona, Arizona – Stevie Nicks’ Fajita Roundup. In the seventies, I dedicated myself to witchcraft, Lindsay Buckingham, and cocaine. But now I use that same energy and dedication to bring you an affordable dining experience you’ll never forget.

[ sings to the tune of “Rhiannon” ]

“Chicken fajitas taste real fine,
wouldn’t you love to eat them?
My chips and salsa are mighty fine,
no one round here can beat ’em.”

In my restaurant, I’ll be singing some of the classic songs that made me famous, while serving up some of the finest Tex-Mex food in the Southwest – like the house specialty, “Burrito Dream”.

[ sings to the tune of “Dreams” ]
“Now, there you go again, you say you want burritos.
I’m sure that you can keep ’em down.
It’s only a flour tortilla, used to wrap around your meat now.

Have you any beans you’d like to share with the loneliness?”

When Mick Fleetwood and I started performing back in 1974, we had a vision that one day our music would be heard around the world.. while people are eating Mexican food in a restaurant.

[ sings to the tune of “The Chain” ]
“Rack of beef to start on,
take your silver spoon full of beans and rice..”

So, the next time you’re craving a little Stevie Nicks’ music, or a vegetable burrito, don’t forget there’s a special place for people just like you.

[ sings to the tune of “Landslide ]
“You placed an order, I wrote it down.
Three enchiladas, the best in town.

Then I saw my reflection in a big pile of nachos.
The landslide brought in down.”

Announcer: Stevie Nicks’ Fajita Roundup. Off Interstate 17, just two hours north of Phoenix. Every Tuesday, burrito specials just $2.99.

Tags: funny, SNL

SNL – Behind the Music Blue Oyster Cult

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Posted by Michelle on Apr 18, 2003 in Humor

Another Will Ferrell classic… a hysterical parody of a Behind the Music for Blue Oyster Cult with Christopher Walken.

One of the things that cracks me up the most in this sketch is how close Ferrell gets to Chris Parnell to annoy him after Walken tells him to “really explore the studio space”. Not even to mention the way Ferrell’s shirt keeps riding up and poor Jimmy Fallon trying not to lose it.

Walken’s oddball nature fits this skit perfectly and Ferrell’s ability to completely lose himself in looking silly make this a classic.

And the cowbell as the focal point of the sketch? Genius.

“You’ll all be wearing gold plated diapers…”

Air Date: 4/8/00 Host: Christopher Walken

Cast
Jimmy Fallon as Bobby
Will Ferrell as Gene Frenkle
Chris Kattan as Alan
Chris Parnell as Eric Bloom
Horatio Sanz as Buck Dharma
Christopher Walken as Bruce Dickinson

Play the video

Script

Announcer: After a series of staggering defeats, Blue Oyster Cult assembled in the recording studio in late 1976 for a session with famed producer Bruce Dickinson. And, luckily for us, the cameras were rolling.

Bruce Dickinson: Alright, guys, I think we’re ready to lay this first track down. By the way, my name is Bruce Dickinson. Yes, the Bruce Dickinson. And I gotta tell you: fellas.. you have got what appears to be a dynamite sound!

Eric Bloom: Coming from you, Bruce, that means a lot.

Buck Dharma: Yeah. I mean, you’re Bruce Dickinson!

Alan: It’s incredible!

Bobby: I can’t believe Bruce Dickinson digs our sound!

Bruce Dickinson: Easy, guys.. I put my pants on just like the rest of you – one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records. [ the group laughs ] Alright, here we go. “Don’t Fear the Reaper” – take one. [ exits into the control booth ]

[ the group begins to play and Gene bangs on a cowbell. ]

Eric: [ distracted by Gene banging the cowbell ] Okay! Wait! Wait! [ the group cuts off their instruments ] Bruce, could you come in here for a minute, please?

Bruce Dickinson: [ stepping out of the booth ] That was gonna be a great track. Guys, what’s the deal?

Eric: Are you sure that was sounding okay?

Bruce Dickinson: I’ll be honest.. fellas, it was sounding great. But.. I could’ve used a little more cowbell. So.. let’s take it again.. and, Gene.

Gene Frenkle: Yeah?

Bruce Dickinson: Really explore the studio space this time. I mean, really.. explore the space. I like what I’m hearing.

[ the group starts the song again, as Gene bangs more wildly onto the cowbell ]

Eric: Okay, wait! Stop! I’m sorry. Bruce, could you come back in here, please?

Bruce Dickinson: [ stepping out of the booth ] Fellas.. now, we just wasted two good tracks! That last one was even better than the first!

Eric: Well, it’s just that I find Gene’s cowbell playing distracting! If I’m the only one, I’ll shut up.

Buck Dharma: It was pretty rough..

Gene Frenkle: You know, I could pull back a little. If you’d like.

Bruce Dickinson: Not too much, though! Fellas, I’m telling you – you’re gonna want that cowbell on the track!

Gene Frenkle: You know what? It’s fine. Let’s just do this thing.

[ the band starts the song once more, with Gene banging the cowbell right next to Eric’s ear ]

Eric: [ stopping the song again, fighting Gene ] Come on, people!

Bruce Dickinson: [ running out of the booth again ] That.. that doesn’t work for me. I gotta have more cowbell!

Alan: Don’t blow this for us, Gene!

Bobby: Quit being so selfish, Gene!

Gene Frenkle: Can I just say one thing? I’m standing here, staring at Bruce Dickinson! And if Bruce Dickinson wants more cowbell, we should probably give him more cowbell! And, Bobby, you are right – I am being selfish. But the last time I checked, we don’t have a lot of songs that feature the cowbell.

Bruce Dickinson: I gotta have more cowbell, baby!

Gene Frenkle: I’ll be doing myself a disservice, and everybody in this band, if I don’t perform the hell out of this.

Bruce Dickinson: Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more cowbell!

Gene Frenkle: Thanks, Bruce. But I think, maybe if I just leave.. and, maybe I’ll come back later, and we can lay down the cowbell. [ starts to leave the studio ]

Bruce Dickinson: Aw, baby..

Eric: Gene, wait! Why don’t you lay down that cowbell right now. With us. Together.

[ everyone agrees ]

Gene Frenkle: Do you mean that, Eric?

Buck Dharma: He speaks for all of us.

Gene Frenkle: Thank you.

Bruce Dickinson: Babies.. before we’re done here.. y’all are gonna be wearing gold-plated diapers.

Alan: What does that mean?

Bruce Dickinson: Never question, Bruce Dickinson! Roll it! [ exits back to booth ]

Eric: [ ready to lay the complete track down ] 1, 2, 3, 4.

[ the band starts up again. Close-up on Gene as he bangs the cowbell to freeze-frame with graphic: “In Memorium: Gene Frenkle: 1950-2000” ]

Tags: funny, SNL

SNL – Bathroom Monkey

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Posted by Michelle on Feb 4, 2003 in Humor

I’ve watched Saturday Night live since before I could understand all the jokes. With the emergence of peer to peer file swapping services, I’ve been looking for a lot of my favorite SNL skits.

By far, my favorite commercial is called Bathroom Monkey and it aired twice in 1994-95 season (see show lists below). I’ve spent forever looking for the video and torturing my husband with the details of the skit.

I am a was huge fan of Janeane Garafalo, her wry sense of humor and general contempt amused me to no end. Her one year of SNL wasn’t exactly a spectacular fit but it did result in Bathroom Monkey. As she has gone off the deep end politically, I understand more about why she was such a bad fit at SNL and is so bitter now. Oh well.

The original airing on the John Travolta/Seal episode has a hysterical ending as they do the final scene from Grease – “We Go Together” song and car, with Seal in a blonde wig as Olivia Newton John.

SCRIPT

PLAY VIDEO

[ Starts with woman giving product testimony from her couch ]
Woman: I had the bathroom from hell. [ laughs ] It was like every time I cleaned it, ten minutes later it was dirty again! Then I heard about Bathroom Monkey. They said the Bathroom Monkey system would keep my entire bathroom clean for up to eight whole months. They were right.

[ real-life monkey air freshener demonstrates ]
The little monkey air freshener releases a clean and fresh scent, and it emits a piercing, ultra-high frequency shriek, scientifically designed to keep my Bathroom Monkey hard at work, 24 hours a day. Now my bathroom’s monkey clean and monkey fresh. And my bathroom monkey? He’s more than a bathroom cleanser. He’s a part of the family. [ Bathroom Monkey changes shower temperature level as Woman takes a shower ]

I don’t know where monkeys come from.. I don’t know how they reproduce.. I don’t know how they eat. But I do know one thing: they were born to clean bathrooms. And when it’s cleaning power is all used up.. [ she discards used Bathroom Monkey ] ..simply pick up another in any of three decorative colors: Red.. [ monkey in red diaper ] ..Blue.. [ monkey in blue diaper ] ..or Orangutan. [ SUPER: “Orangutan will not wear diaper” ] This little guy just started today, and, you know, I think my new Bathroom Monkey and I are gonna make a great team.

SHOWS AIRED ON
SNL 1994-95 Season

SNL – Oops I crapped my pants

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Posted by Michelle on Feb 3, 2003 in Humor

I’ve watched Saturday Night live since before I could understand all the jokes. With the emergence of peer to peer file swapping services, I’ve been looking for a lot of my favorite SNL skits.

My favorite 2nd commercial is called Oops I crapped my pants and it aired three times in 98-99 season (see show lists below). It originated the line I still crack up hearing, “Well I’m wearing them, and I just did”.

Chris Parnell and Ana Gasteyer have small part with two older actors and a young child actor.

For me, humor in this fake commercial is the visuals, the older actors saying the hysterical lines and the horribly named product.
SCRIPT

PLAY VIDEO

[Open – porch of nice home, looking out on yard.]
[Two grandparents sit with grandchild, as parents approach in tennis uniforms]

Ana: Hey, Mom what do you say to a game of tennis?
Grandchild: Come on grandma, with you on our side, the boys don’t stand a chance!
Grandma: Ok, I’ll get my racket
[grandma rises from site but changes her mind, looking concerned]
Grandma: On second thought, I think I better sit this one out.
[grandma upset, looks up at grandpa]
Grandpa: You kids go ahead, I wanna have a talk with your old grandma.

[kids, parent leave; grandpa sits down]
Grandpa: You’re still having control problems, aren’t you?
Grandma: I just don’t feel confident Harvey.
Grandpa: Come with me. I wanna let you in on a little secret.
[grandpa takes grandma’s hand and they leave porch]

[grandpa opens cabinet and takes out adult diapers]
Grandpa: Here we are oops I crapped my pants.
Grandma: Oops I crapped my pants, I’ve heard of those. Do they work?
Grandpa: Oops I crapped my pants out performed every bladder and bowel control product on the market today. Here, I’ll show you.

[grandma holds open diaper, grandpa holds pitcher]
Grandpa: Imagine this pitcher of tea is really a gallon of your feces.
[grandpa pours pitcher of tea with lemons into diaper]
Grandpa: See how its super thick protection allows for maximum absorbency without leaking.
Grandma: I’m impressed. Oops I crapped my pants can hold a lot of dung.
Grandpa: And get this, Oops I crapped my pants are biodegradable. Now that’s good for the environment.
Grandma: Hey, how do you know so much about Oops I crapped my pants?

Grandpa: Well I’m wearing them, and I just did.
[grandpa and grandma smile at each other]

[tennis courts, grandpa and grandma playing tennis with children]
Grandchild: Nice point Grandma!
[Grandma turns to and addresses camera]

Grandma: Thanks Oops I crapped my pants!

Voice over: Visit your local pharmacy and just say Oops I crapped my pants.

[Grandpa hugs grandma, kisses her on the head. They walk away happy]
[They turn to walk away and their tennis shorts are bulging…]

SHOWS AIRED ON
SNL 1998-99 Season

SNL – VH-1 Storytellers: Neil Diamond

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Posted by Michelle on Jan 3, 2003 in Humor

I’ve watched Saturday Night live since before I could understand all the jokes. With the emergence of peer to peer file swapping services, I’ve been looking for a lot of my favorite SNL skits.

One of my favorite skits is Will Farrell as Neil Diamond. I laughed so hard the first time I saw this, I nearly choked. John Goodman is Gary the Bass Player and Tim Meadows is Kenny the Keyboard Player.

The premise is Neil Diamond doing VH1’s Storytellers, where performers explain their songs and then sing them.

SCRIPT

PLAY AUDIO

Neil: “Thank you. That, of course, is “Sweet Caroline”. I wrote that song after a big show at the Forum. Gary and I had been drinking pretty heavily, and we were driving..”

Gary (bass player): [worried] “Oh, I can’t believe you’re gonna tell this story..”

Neil: “Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah, well, we were driving down this dark road, and I hit a kid. [the crowd reacts with stunned silence.] So, we got out, and sure enough he was dead. So, we just took off. Pretty fast. And two hours later, I wrote “Sweet Caroline”. Sweet Caroline. Good times never seemed so good. Thank you.

The crowd tries to applaud, but is stunned at the story. Neil follows it up with more revelations.

Neil: “It gets crazy on the road, and awful lonely. That’s why I love pornography. This next song is all about my love of hardcore, barely legal pornography. Gary knows what I’m talking about. Well, my bizarre, insatiable, and downright dangerous sexual habits led me to write this song. [intro to “Cracklin’ Rosie”] Oh, Cracklin’ Rose, get on board. We’re gonna ride ’til there ain’t no more to go. We’re takin’ it slow. Let’s all do the best we can. And I can turn invincible if I really try-y hard!”

Next, Neil writes about his song of peace and unity, “America”:

Neil: “This next song, you all might like. Few people know that I am fueled creatively by my massive hatred of immigrants. [intro to “America”] Gary and I have gone on for hours about how much we hate foreigners. Right, Gary?”

Gary: “Leave me out of this, man.”

Neil: “NO, I WILL LEAVE YOU IN!! [pause, then back to the story] Well, my love of this great and beautiful nation, and my hatred of all people with dark skin, led me to write this. On the boats and on the trains. They’re coming to America. Never looking back again. Just do the best you can! You hate your keyboard player because he’s black! Never had the courage to tell him so.”

When his band members start telling him to shut up, Neil screams at them.

Neil: “I’ll smack you in the mouth, I’m Neil Diamond!”

As the crowd and his band starts to leave, Neil tries to get them to stay:

Neil: “Wait! This next song, I wrote after I killed a drifter to get an erection.”

SHOWS AIRED ON
SNL 97-98 Season